The Cat's Still Green
by Grayhart
Summary: At 16, Molly's concerns are Hogwarts, friends, and a Potions mark that's going down the drain, not to mention the sweet but oddly dressed Gryffindor prefect who's accidentaly seen her knickers...twice! T for language. MollyArthur, FrankAlice. Please R&R!
1. Those Were My Favourite Knickers

**Disclaimer: **If you recognize it, not mine.

If you don't recognize it, mine.

**Note: **Molly Prewett is familiar because in the future, she's Molly Weasley.

Just to avoid confusion!

**Chapter One**

**My Brother, Fabian**

_Dear Molly,_

_What is it that brothers get their sisters for birthdays? You're too old for a pony. You're too old for a bag of Fizzing Whizzbees. But you're NEVER too old for a journal. This is, in essence, a book, but the pages are blank. Not even any lines. (If you prefer lines, you can always point your wand at the page and say _

"Liniarus," _and lines would appear, but that's not the point!) So, here it is. Not a pony, sorry Mols, you must be disappointed, but a journal. Knock yourself out._

_Love, Fabian Prewett (Your Favourite Brother!!)_

**8:30, approximately**

Well, Fabian, you've really outdone yourself. A Journal. As if I couldn't get one on my own. And you didn't even put all of that "Your life is like an empty page …. Write your _own _story…. Lalala…" Good for you. Well, I don't like it and I shan't write in it any more. So there.

**8:45, En Route to the Hogwarts Express**

That was a lie. But Fabian, you are _not _my favourite brother. What is more, you _know _it! Do you remember when you dyed Mr. Shivers green? The poor cat, I swear, he still has a green tinge. He's never been the same since! You are a _mean man_, Fabian Prewett, don't you know it! I'm in the car right now, the yellow Muggle car with the strange driver in the front. It smells like cabbages and cigars …. awful stuff. Mum's going on and on about tooth-cleaner and bandages and if I've packed enough clean knickers. To that one, I responded with "Of course, Mum. Do you think I would pack the dirty ones?"

She didn't catch on to the tone of my voice when I said that. I passed the rest of the ride in utter silence, listening to her jabbering on about clean sheets and Sleekeazy's new hair potion which, according to her, "would be just perfect for you, Molly dear! Your hair _is _so frizzy!"

Like _that's something I certainly don't know. _(No sarcasm there, at all.)

Next, she's going to tell me that I'm short and have red hair!

**9:01, In King's Cross Station, Somewhere, How Do I Get Out?**

King's Cross is a huge place, it's full of people, there are no maps on the walls (not maps that would help _me, _in any case, and it's very noisy. It is a terrible place to get lost.

I'm lost.

It's **not **funny.

The first year my parents have trusted me to get on the platform alone --- and I'm lost, lost in the train station, not one single CLUE as to where I am.

This is _so _embarrassing! What if I miss the train?? You may be wondering why I'm writing in my journal if my being completely lost is a terrible problem, but the place is full of Muggles! I can hardly ask them how to get to Platform 9 ¾, can I? No. So I'll have to wait until somebody comes to find me. If they do. Which is doubtful.

I _hate _the train.

**9:24, En Route to the Train!**

I'm saved!! Thank Merlin for Olivia Pucey, even if she's a nosy brat! Right now I could kiss her!

**9: 26**

I _definitely would not ever _kiss Olivia Pucey. But still, thank Merlin!

**9:32, On the Platform**

What on Earth was I saying, when I said I could _kiss _Olivia Pucey! I've never even kissed a _boy _before! I will only ever mention the silly brat again _if I must!_

**9:33**

And it's not as if I couldn't have found the platform on my own! She didn't _need _to waltz up and grab my arm and make me follow her, I knew _exactly _what I was doing! I wasn't _lost_ or anything.

**10:03, On the Train, In a Compartment with Xeno, Alice, and Some Girl I Don't Know**

A boy I don't know has just seen my knickers.

My face is as red as my hair! I just cannot believe I could be embarrassed like this on the first day back! And these were my _favourite _knickers! Blue, with white spots. Very cute. _Not _something I want some strange bloke to see, one that I've never even _met _for Merlin's sake, WHY ME?

I was just getting on the train, Mr. Shivers in one arm, my purse on the other, book bag on my back, trunk in my hand behind me, struggling, as per the usual. I finally managed to get everything up the ramp and into the hall, turned back for one last look, turned back and --- SMACK! Straight _into him,_ it was like he didn't even _see _me, and I'm not very diminutive!  
He was walking fast (I'm not sure _where _he could want to get to on the train, he was almost running), and I was overburdened. I had a sinking feeling just before I connected with the floor, robes flying up over my head. He looked down at me. I got the feeling he had perhaps seen something he shouldn't have.

Then, I realized that _everyone _could see my knickers.

His ears were bright red as he helped me stand. I was so ashamed I didn't even _look _at him.

That was probably a mistake - I don't want some slimy Slytherin saying that he saw my knickers, not when _nobody else has! _Oh, Merlin, _Merlin, _I can't stop blushing… He was very nice, he didn't even mention it, but I just _know_ he's seen my knickers… I don't even know what House he's in… Oh, _Merlin…_

**10:07**

I really wish that Eddy would get back from the Prefect's compartment. Alice would probably laugh. Nothing like that has ever happened to her. But Eddy would understand… Her sisters, Bellatrix and Narcissa, are Slytherins and she's always the subject of their pranks. I'm sure she's been accidentally knicker-spotted before…

**10:08**

MERLIN! SOME BLOKE I DON'T KNOW HAS _SEEN _MY _KNICKERS!_

**10:09**

MY BLUE AND WHITE SPOTTED _KNICKERS!_

**10:10**

The train's finally moving.

**10:13**

I can't stop replaying the fall in my mind… Oh _Merlin, _I can't tell anybody! I'll never have the end of it! My only consolation is that he didn't laugh. At least he apologized. But _still, _he's seen my knickers! _OHH!_

**10:15**

You know, I really have a right to be angry with that fellow. When a girl falls over and her knickers are in plain view, isn't it common courtesy to look away??

**10:16**

Isn't it???

**10:17**

Wait. _Is _it? I mean, he was a bloke.

**10:18**

I just _cannot believe _some strange bloke _looked _at my knickers, as I was lying prostrate on the filthy train floor, after _he _knocked me over! I cannot believe it! I've been taken advantage of!


	2. Arrival at Hogwarts

**Chapter Two**

**Arrival at Hogwarts**

**Disclaimer: I own none of it! I relinquish any hold I had of it to the great Joanne Rowling! ---bows down--- OKAY! Bad chapter title, better next time, sorry ;) Yes, well, anyhow, R&R please!**

_**Enjoy!!**_

**10:25, Andromeda now Next to Me, Tonks on the Other Side**

I'm going to talk to Andromeda now. She's got a lot of nicknames: Andie, Eddy, Black, Drommy, Deedee… I'm just Mols. That's pronounced MALLS, not MOLES!  
Oi, Eddy.

_Oh, hey Mols._

I have sort of a … weird query for you.

_Ask away. I'll try to answer. Is it about a spell? Alice'll be the one to ask, she always has a few books on her…_

"A few" is an understatement, Eddy.

_I know, eh? But I realized that after I wrote it… Anyways, what is this … query??_

HAsanyOneeversEEnyouRKniCkers

_Umm… sorry, Mols! I can't read you handwriting!  
_Sorry. But, well, quite frankly, I'm embarrassed about it!

_Just ask the damn question!!_

Andie… Has anyone ever seen your knickers ?

_Oh._

…

Well?

_To tell the truth, Molly… no. Not really. Well, actually this one time, I didn't wash my Quidditch under breeches after a really muddy practise, so I went out to a practise in only my knickers under my Qudditch robes and… well… a group of Hufflepuffs from their House team had come out to watch us practise, and this one Bludger refused to be hit far enough away, so I flew really low down over them in order to gain momentum and a couple of them looked up._

_Up my robes, I mean._

_STOP LAUGHING MOLLY, OR I'LL BEAT YOU RATHER THAN A BLUDGER!!_

Sorry… Oh _MERLIN, _but that's good. That's _really _really funny… Oh, HAH!

_Oh yes, guffaw guffaw, that's RICH! You've never been knicker-spotted before. _

…

_Oh, my, Molly. But your sudden silence and the fact that your face is now as red as your hair tells me…you __**have **__been spotted, haven't you??? HM?_

Yes, actually, I have. And it wasn't pleasant!

_By who?  
_Beg pardon?!  
_BY WHO?_

No, no! I can read your writing just fine, (even if it is very slanted and messy! Heh!) but, I mean, "By who?" I can tell _you _quite plainly that that is no concern of yours!!

_Oh, really._

…

_Molly. You don't know who they are, do you??_

It's _not _funny. But no. Not a clue.

_Was it a bloke??  
_Of COURSE it was a bloke, if it wasn't a bloke it wouldn't matter so much!!

_Holy crick Molly, this means a lot to you, doesn't it?!_

STOP LAUGHING, ANDROMEDA BLACK, OR YOU SHALL SOON FIND YOURSELF RENDERED INCAPABLE OF EVEN THE SMALLEST CHUCKLE!!

_Do tell. How, exactly did this happen?_

READ THE SLOT MARKED 10:03, YOU NITWIT!! 

**10:42, Eddy has Finished Reading the Entry, (FINALLY!)**

She's laughing uncontrollably on the floor. It's quite shameful, really. Xenophilius Lovegood and his girlfriend (by the way, her name is Stella Firestone,) were interrupted as they were snogging in a corner. I'm actually quite relieved that they've stopped; it was getting kind of noisy and _extremely _distracting.

Poor Alice… she doesn't have a clue what Eddy and I were just talking about --- she had her nose buried in a Muggle magazine of some kind. Xeno and his girlfriend are sort of looking about in a daze. She has the longest hair I swear I've ever seen… I'm getting an itch in my fingers when I think about the scissors I have in my makeup bag in the luggage rack…

I wonder if I should ask her? Just a little off the ends, it's looking far too wild…

Enough about Xeno's girlfriend's hair. I feel it's my obligation as Alice's friend to let her in on my being spotted. I can already breathe again, and I think my colour's going down. Hardly cause to celebrate, but Eddy's crying now, and clutching her sides. I think I'm going to kick her, now, so please excuse me!!

**10:54**

Eddy won't stop laughing. Alice asked why. I told her. That was a mistake. Now Alice won't stop laughing.

Meanwhile, I am sitting in the corner with this stupid journal, not laughing _in the least._ I may have to resort to violent, physical measures to get them to stop laughing at me. Now, I'm going to tuck away this bloody journal as it's been nothing but trouble, and, as the trolley with the food will be arriving soon, I must make sure everyone in the compartment has a lunch on them! You'd be surprised at how little some of these people eat! It's not healthy, for Merlin's sake!!

**5:56, On the Train**

The train's pulling to a stop just now. I'm going to have to stuff this back into my suitcase now, where it'll be forgotten and never used again!!!

**7:43, Before the Fire, Ravenclaw Common Room**

Alright. So I suppose that I'm going to be forced to write in this bloody thing from now on. It won't leave me alone! I was unpacking, and the first thing to fall out of my bag was _this bloody journal!!! _

Our first night back at Hogwarts was such a relief…YOU try spending the summer with two older brothers who drive you absolutely bonkers, then see if you feel better once you're back at school! The house-elves are going to make sure that I gain as much weight this year as I have all years previous…Terrible news, really --- I've stopped growing upwards. I'm going to end up very chubby when I'm older, I know it!!

Teddy Tonks is sitting in his corner of the floor by the window. Eddy and Alice are over at the coffee table, playing Gobstones. Gobstones is alright, I guess, but I much prefer Wizard's Chess; it's more exciting. I have a brand new set this year, it was a birthday present from my father…The bishop is bossy, the king's a ninny, the queen pays no attention, and the pawns…let's just say that they're mutinous. But father says that if I play enough they'll listen to me --- if I'm good, that is. You just really have to break them in!

Well, now…I'm tired. The train ride always takes it out of me…Travelling tends to do that, especially to young children. You have to bring snacks if you travel with young children, and all sorts of interesting things, to keep them awake…

**7:47**

Tabby Stride, (the Head Girl, no less!) just burst into the Common Room, dripping ink. Peeves got to her on the third floor, or so it seems…She was bawling abominably. Not that I blame Peeves, Tabby Stride is a bit of a nitwit, but it is the first day back.

Eddy's the athletic one; Alice's the studious one; I guess that leaves me, Molly Prewett, as the comforting, nice one (damn it all, why me?). I'm going to go boss the ink off of Tabby Stride's face now…She looks like she needs a pep talk. But first, I'll call Eddy's attention to it and we'll have a good laugh over it!!

**8:14, Girls' Dorms, Ravenclaw Tower**

Tabby Stride isn't _really _a bossy nitwit… I said that about her because she's tall and thin and has hair the colour of sunshine. She's really enough to make any girl call her worse names…AND she's Head Girl, AND she's on the Quidditch Team as Lead Chaser, AND she got five O's on her owls…

In fact, I believe Tabby Stride _is _a bossy nitwit after all!

But she _did_ call me a dear after I mopped up the mess on her face (she even looks lovely crying, the twit!). I'm quite good with the Cleaning Charm… _Proprus, _as the incantation goes. For dust, _Proprus Maxima _is always better…

I have now only to throw on one of my large, ratty old shirts and lay on my back, staring at the ceiling and blushing furiously about that bloody boy who saw my knickers. But I suppose I should stop obsessing over that! Eddy's still laughing about it. Damn her, the twit!!

Good night, journal, I shall hopefully wake up to find that you've been burned!

**A/N: Next chapter…Bloody bloke in potions class, Molly earns 30 points for Ravenclaw, and plays Hangman in Dreadful Divination with Prof. Protégé!**


	3. A Very Bloody Potions Class

**Chapter Three**

**A Very Bloody Potions Class**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN IT, OKAY??? I never said I did! I relinquish hold on everyone except Olivia Pucey… The bossy brat is the only thing that's mine… sigh!**

_**For all my reviewers! Please R&R!!!!**_

**9:08 A.M., In History of Magic, Between Eddy and Alice**

As History of Magic is a completely and thoroughly boring class, I've decided to write in my journal in it. I have it firsts on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Wednesdays and Fridays I have Charms first. Divination is a load of codswhallop if you ask me, but I _did _get an E on my OWLs for it, so my mum made me take it again. The same goes for History of Magic. I passed because I spent the entire week before our exams learning what I should have learnt in the four years previous…My head was crammed so full of useless facts I can still call them up at random intervals. I've got Herbology with the Hufflepuffs next, then lunch, then Potions with Gryffindor, and then Dreadful Divination with Protégé.

It's nine in the morning, and I'm ALREADY looking forward to lunch!! I've only _just _had breakfast. Forgive me while I remove Eddy's elbow from my face. (She's fallen asleep!)

**9:14**

Everyone's asleep already…do you believe it?? Well, everyone except Tonks and I. But Tonks is exceptionally quiet, exceptionally shy…and also an exceptionally good artist. He doesn't use any magic when he draws, just charcoals and ink and a bunch of brushes… But whatever he churns out looks, well, _brilliant. _Colour, or black and white…

Eddy once said something really funny about dear ol' Teddy Tonks, that "if the bloke sneezed into a hanky and put it on the wall, it would be 'ART.'" Funny, yes, especially because it's true! If you were ever to tell Tonks something like that, he's probably blush very red and put his head down, and say something like, "Well, I guess I'm alright…some of my inks are okay, I suppose, but I'm bottoms at watercolour." or something similarly humble. It's like he doesn't think he's any good at…well…anything!

If I was that good at something, I would get shirts made that told everyone all about it, and I would give each of my friends one.

**9:35**

I am bored, and this silly journal of Fabian's IS NOT HELPING! One moment now, I think Alice is waking up… There's only twenty-five minutes to go before Herbology!!

**9:42, Alice****'****s Turn to Write Now! (Thanks, Mols!!)**

_**I have just gained permission from her Greatness, Molly Prewett, to the effect that I can write in her journal! Of course, I**__**'**__**m not allowed to read what else she**__**'**__**s written in it**__**…**__** She used a Jumble-Eye Jinx on it**__**…**__** the incantation is **__**"**__**Dyslexus.**__**"**__** Every time I look at whatever it is written in her writing, the letters jump around and away, and appear to eat each other and other, naughtier things. It**__**'**__**s distracting. I think I**__**'**__**m going to cast it on my own writing, so nobody can read it save me!**_

**9:46, Still Alice!!**

_**Well, yes. The edges of this page**__**…**__**terribly singed. My Dyslexus sounded something like the word **__**"**__**Twiddly**__**"**__** and the flick wasn**__**'**__**t fast enough**__**…**__** But it looks decorative. I**__**'**__**m going to try again.**_

**9:49, STOP LAUGHING, MOLLY!**

_**She**__**'**__**s laughing. Queen of Knickers is laughing at me**__**…**__**Yes, I know, I know I just burnt off my eyebrows, I KNOW THEY**__**'**__**LL TAKE WEEKS TO GROW BACK! I KNOW!! **_

_**The Jumble-Eyes Jinx was just not meant to be used by me, I think. I suppose I**__**'**__**ll have to get Molly to do it for me, only then I won**__**'**__**t be able to read my own writing**__**…**__** Molly**__**'**__**s entry for 9:14 is the worst for the Jinx**__**…**__** all of the P**__**'**__**s and T**__**'**__**s have ganged up on the A**__**'**__**s and E**__**'**__**s and are using the I**__**'**__**s as clubs to beat them to death**__**…**__** I probably shouldn**__**'**__**t watch any more of that.**_

_**Well, here it comes, the confession. I know. **_

_**The real reason I asked to write in this diary, and the reason why I**__**'**__**m trying to Jumble-Eyes it is because I have a couple of confessions to make, and they are for my eyes alone. Why, then, would I EVER write them in someone else**__**'**__**s diary?? It**__**'**__**s a stupid idea. But the thing is, nobody would go looking in Molly**__**'**__**s diary for Eddy**__**'**__**s secrets, or for mine**__**…**__**All the better if they can**__**'**__**t read them! **_

_**Also, if somebody was ever to discover what I have to say here, I**__**'**__**d like it to be Molly, or Eddy. They**__**'**__**re the greatest best mates a girl could ask for.**_

_**I must be getting a soppy look on my face, because Mols is toeing me in the shin with her school shoes, from under the desk. **_

_**But, here**__**'**__**s the secret.**_

_**I, Alice Hopkins, studious bookworm extraordinaire**__**…**__** am in love.**_

_**Please don**__**'**__**t laugh. **_

_**It**__**'**__**s silly**__**…**__**Oh Merlin, I KNOW it is, but, again, OH MERLIN! I can**__**'**__**t help it!**_

_**And to think, he**__**'**__**s not even in my own House! I have to wait until Potions at two this afternoon to see him!**_

_**His name**__** i**__**s**__**---**_

_**Molly wants her journal back. But, well, that was good to get off my chest**__**…**__** I**__**'**__**m going to put the Dyslexus Jinx on it now, and I**__**'**__**m NOT going to burn off my eyebrows!!**_

**9:56, The Journal****'****s Back In My Hands!!**

I'm hungry. That's all I needed to say.

Heh, you know what would be really funny??

If Alice was about to tell you some big, life-changing secret. AS IF!! ) The thought makes me laugh! What sort of secret could Alice have??

Well, Alice put the Jumble-Eye Jinx on her writing, so now all I see are a bunch of very naughty Q's, but I'm sure she was just telling you she was hungry, as I am now!!

Goodness, I'd like some chocolate…I think I may even have enough for it! Yes! In fact I do! I've just found a couple of Sickles in my inner pockets that I didn't even know were there…Don't you love that? Sometimes I put a couple Knuts in my Muggle jacket, just so that I can find them later, and have a reason to be happy. That's NOT weird, okay, journal??

Well, I believe the bell's just gone… some people appear to be waking up. I have to get out to the greenhouses now! We both have places to go, you and I. I, to Herbology. You, to the rubbish bin!

**12:47, Ravenclaw Common Room**

Well, Herbology was filthy, as always… I've come back up to the dorms to wash my hands. Silly, especially because I had to pass seven or so loos to get up to the dorm, but still… I have a certain kind of coconut hand crème I like to put on after Herbology. Olivia Pucey got me started on it in fourth year… Not a bad sort, Olivia Pucey, if you can get past how much of a brat she is. She's half-blood…Her Muggle mother spoils her because she's the only daughter, and her wizard father spoils her because "Fausto" that and on and on until you'd want to _die. _Well, I still have to run down and eat lunch before Potions… I suppose I'll write again later, hm??

**2:03, In Potions, between Eddy and Xeno.**

I should probably explain! Every Ravenclaw save poor Alice and a boy named Gordon Wright got into advanced Potions. We all got O's, and Alice got an E…She's always hated Potions…It's _never _been her best subject. She decided it was in her best interest not to continue. She's taking Arithmancy instead.

There's only one Advanced Potions class, so when I said 'with the Gryffindors' it was because there are five Gryffindors. There are no Hufflepuffs in sixth in Potions, and only two Slytherins, and _they _hide and snigger in the corner.

The Ravenclaws, (of which there are eight in the class, I add proudly,) are as follows:

Gregory Brown & Samuel Harper, who are best mates.

Teddy Tonks, Xeno Lovegood, Eddy Black, & I, (Molly Prewett), who are all best mates (and with Alice).

Olivia Pucey & Geraldine MacDougal, who are best mates and far too giggly, and who are trying to catch the attention of Gregory and Samuel, who are ignoring them, because they are not as pretty as the three Gryffindor girls across, who are _also _far too giggly!!

They can be _very _infuriating!

And then, of course, Slughorn, who coos over his precious Slytherins' potions and turns his nose up at mine. We're very lucky that Narcissa didn't get accepted into AP or Eddy and I'd be in for major trouble… They're some odd dark-haired blokes named Zabini and Macnair. I wish I could say that _they_'re far too giggly…But they just scare me.

**2:37**

When I said "the five Gryffindors," I didn't count the one who just burst in through the door, bleeding profusely from the nose. Poor fellow. But he _did _earn me twenty points for Ravenclaw! I MUST tell you the whole story… But now I'll have to start my Wiggenweld potion… Slughorn's heading over!

**3:46, Divination Tower with Professor Protégé**

Divination is a bore. I'm going to play hangman on this page with Alice… Eddy's in Ancient Runes, lucky chit!!

**3:59**

I can barely breathe for laughing!! When Protégé came round to check on our crystal-ball reading, Alice made up that I'll earn 30 points for Ravenclaw today!!! I ALREADY HAVE!!! I can't believe it, Alice and I are bottoms at _real _Divination… We make things up! But Alice's made up prophecy actually came true! I'll have to tell you about it later!

**7:47, Ravenclaw Common Room**

_Finally! _I have a spare minute and can write all about Potions class today! It was brilliant…my _favourite _Potions class of my entire life!

We were all listening acutely to what Professor Slughorn talk about the Wiggenweld Potion, (which we were going to attempt to make,) and I was just finished writing in my journal when the dungeon doors were flung open and a tall, thin bloke with hair _almost _as red as mine stepped in. Olivia Pucey screamed aloud. His appearance was dramatic to say the least… There was blood all down his robes, his shabby-looking bag flung lopsidedly on one shoulder split open down the side. We all turned as one to stare at him. He looked up at Slughorn, who's jaw was wide open, and said quite calmly, "I'm sorry I'm late, Professor. I had some trouble with my schedule," he explained, holding up a horrendously bloody sheet of paper that was, I could only assume, his schedule. "It's all sorted out now, though." he went on. Letting go of his nose tentatively, he stepped forward into the complete silence that he was oblivious to. Looking rather pleased that he'd stopped bleeding, he set his ripped, blood-spattered bag onto the table next to a dazed looking Gryffindor boy. Suddenly, a spurt of blood poured from his nose as if a tap had been turned back on. "Shit," he swore quietly, "These were my only robes…my mother'll rip my head off!"

Slughorn shook himself quickly and bounded down the aisle crying "Mr. Weasley, you need the Hospital Wing!"

The bloke looked up in alarm, hands still over his nose. I couldn't help feeling very sorry for him… If _I'd _been bleeding like that, my first thought would've been the hospital wing, not getting to class on time.

"Doe, doe, I'b fide!" he cried, sending a large splatter all over Slughorn's robes.

"Please, Mr. Weasley, Hospital Wing! McGonagall will kill me if one of her Prefects dies of blood loss in my class!" he said, in his trademark goodnatured way.

The Bleeding Bloke put one scarlet hand on the shoulder of Slughorn's already ruined new robes. Slughorn looked at it as if it was a dead rat, but the boy pretended not to notice. His tone made me laugh…he sounded like _he _was the one reassuring _Slughorn. _

"Id's alribe, Brofessor, readdy!"

"Miss Prewett, where's MissPrewett?" he muttered nervously, looking around the class for me.

"Here, Professor," I responded. What the bloody hell did he want _me _for?

Well, my question was answered when he asked imploringly, "Professor Flitwick always prattles on about your talent at Charms…so you think you could---? You know… A simple Healing Charm, I'll give you points for it!"

"Well," I nodded, "Alright, I guess,"

Slughorn looked very relieved and backed away from his bleeding student.

"'Ello, I'b Ardur," he said pleasantly. Thankfully, he did not offer me on of his dripping hands to shake.

I looked at him incredulously, but just shook my head slightly and responded, "Hi, Arthur, I'm Molly."

"Oh," he smiled slightly, "Dice do beet you!"

"You're gonna have to move your hands away from your face," I reminded him. He did.

I took a deep breath, and pointed my wand straight at his crushed and bloody nose with the smallest of winces. _"Episkey!"_ I said clearly. Blue sparks shot out of my wand and towards his face.With a small squelching sound, his nose was no longer bleeding an in it's proper shape.

He put up one hand, still covered in blood, to touch it. I smiled.

"That was brilliant!" he exclaimed, "Thanks!"

"Welcome," I replied, turning a little red. Eddy and Tonks were clapping. "I'll get that for you." I offered, noting how he was still looking at the blood on his robes and hands. _"Evanesco Sang!"_

It was the best Vanishing Charm I'd ever done. Looking very impressed, Slughorn stepped forward.

"I shall certainly tell Flitwick about your magnificent work, Miss Prewett. I apologise for putting you on the spot, and not even in my _own _subject… Thirty points, I believe, are in order!" He was smiling broadly at me as I took my seat, glowing red from crown to toe. The Gryffindor bloke dropped onto his stool with a thankful glance in my direction; I jumped onto mine. And now, Alice and Eddy are trying to talk me into a Gobstones tournament… I'm just about to surrender, so night for now!!

**A/N: OKAY! So, review now… It's simple, just push the button and give me a piece of your mind. Just, please don't burn me, okay?? That's not nice! Me no likey!!! ) Thanx. **

**NEXT CHAPPY: Eddy & Molly promise Flitwick they'll tutor first years in Charms… Alice divulges the identity of her 'true love,' and Andromeda "can't tell which one is her sister!"**


	4. The Prefect's Revenge

**Chapter Four**

**The Prefect's Revenge & Uncomfortable Promises**

**OH MY GOSH!!! People reviewed my story!!! YAY! Thank you so much!!!**

**Disclaimer: Do I HAVE to do this every time??? Oh, well, I'll get on with it… It's NOT mine, it's J.K.'s, yadda yadda yadda!**

**Oh-kee, here it is!!! **_**Please review!!!**_

**7:43, The Great Hall, Ravenclaw Table, the Journal's Propped on an Orange Juice Jug**

_Molly doesn't want to write in her journal. She said something about being "disappointed that nobody burned it over night," which comes across as odd. So I, Andromeda Black, (Eddy to my friends, although YOU aren't one of them,) am going to write this morning! We have half of History of Magic and then Care of Magical Creatures with the Slytherins.) Meaning that my dear sweet sister, the lovely Narcissa, will probably pelt me with droppings._

_I hate siblings. _

_After that, I'll have to give the journal back because Molly has Transfiguration, and I have Ancient Runes, but we'll meet up again for Charms! _

_My dear sister Bellatrix is making rude hand gestures at me, so I think I'll just return the favour…_

**7:51**

_What a laugh! An old brown, speckled owl just crashed and then skidded the whole length of the Gryffindor table --- AND FELL OFF THE OTHER END!!! The tall bloke from Potions yesterday's owl, I believe. Yes… He's apologising to an angry bunch of seventh years… One of them has fried egg in her hair; I think that's why she's angry… If that fellow doesn't watch it, he's going to make somebody very mad someday!!  
_

**9:02, History of Magic, Situated Between the Doodler and Alice Hopkins**

_The Doodler's doodling, which should come as a surprise. I think he's drawing Binns and the giant squid in a duel together… Tough luck Tonks, Binns is sure to win… He's already dead!!_

A minor detail.

_Ha! Well, alright, how do you propose the squid'll win against a ghost??_

What will Binns do, bore the squid to death?? It's an animal, Black. It doesn't _get _bored. 

…

Well, the squid could reverse time using a time turner and fight Binns back when he was alive. He could strangle Binns with some seaweed.

_Severitus Hex. The seaweed would break. Binns winns!_

You just wrote wins with 2 N's.

_Yes, well, it looked better that way. _

I suppose the squid could drop an icecream truck on Binns' head as he was sleeping.

_I'm not going to advocate for Binns anymore… I actually side with the squid, don't cha know it!  
_Well, it was an interesting discussion, but you're very…flighty. I don't think you could ever settle on one thing or person for long enough to really get _into _it.

_That'd better not be an insult I smell, Tonks!  
_Oh, jeez, no, 'course not! Wouldn't want to make the youngest Black Sister mad at me. Merely making an observation.

_Now you're starting to sound like Xeno!  
_OH MY GOD, WHAT'LL I DO???? SAVE ME, OH GREAT ONE!!!  
_Shove it, Tonks. _

**9:05**

_Tonks can be _such _a prat._

**10:36, En Route to Care of Magical Creatures**

_Today's lesson is Bowtruckles… Brilliant. I'm going to be leaving today with several less fingers and a face full of droppings, courtesy of dear Cissy. Now _she _is a prat. I'd rather spend an evening alone with Xeno and his snog-crazy girlfriend, Stella, that with my own sister!!!_

_Is that pathetic? Because I thought dysfunctional families were the norm now._

**10:57, Care of Magical Creatures, with Alice**

_I CANNOT STAND MY SISTER! I CANNOT STAND HER, SHE IS THE BIGGEST NO-GOOD ARSEBAG I HAVE EVER MET! I cannot BELIEVE HER! _

_When I said I expected a facefull of Bowtruckle droppings I did NOT mean also in my bloody hair!!! Ooooh, the PRAT! If I wasn't a Prefect, I'd…URGH!!!_

**10:59**

_I'll just have to get her back even worse! I'll come up with something! It'll be worth ten YEARS in detention to see the look on her face!!!_

**11:02**

_But, I really shouldn't…I am a Prefect…_

**11:08, Alice is Writing Now!!!**

_**Eddy's brilliant. Bloody brilliant. **_

_**She's just slipped THREE handfulls of Bowtruckle droppings inside Narcissa's new Wlsh-Grn Bookbag… It was worth SIXTY Galleons, and Bowtruckle droppings are wet!! **_

_**Do you believe it??? It was BLOODY BRILLIANT, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life!! **_

_**It'll only get better when she puts her hand in…**_

**11:11**

_**SHE PUT HER HAND IN! **_

**11:13**

_**Eddy, has anyone ever taken the time to tell you how bloody brilliant you are?  
**__Well, considering as you've spent the last ten minutes in class screaming in laughter, crying 'bloody brilliant' after Narcissa put her hand in her bag…yes._

_**Because I think you're brilliant.**_

_Well, you can't say she didn't deserve it… I'm starting to feel guilty about the whole thing… I mean, I _am _a Prefect…_

Don't spoil it, you're the one with a head covered in wet droppings.

_SHOVE IT, Mr. Tonks!_

_**Alright, there…He's gone. Look at his face…I think you hurt his feelings!**_

_Ha, yes, well… That would be if he even had any!  
__**'Course he does, he's the most sensitive bloke in sixth year.**_

_Quiet and sensitive are not the same thing, Alice. But he is much more outspoken on paper._

_**If he was to write 'grapes' on a piece of paper, it would make him more outspoken on paper than in real life!**_

_Why 'grapes?'_

_**I want some.**_

_Oh--kay then, Come on, Mols is looking at us weirdly. I think she thinks we're obsessing over this journal!_

**12:35, Ravenclaw Dorms, Eddy's in the Shower**

Poor Eddy. She got a whole head full of Bowtruckle residue. Did she mention that? I can't read what she wrote… Never should have taught them the Dyslexus Hex. They're using it on everything they write!

I think I'm going to have to sacrifice some of my Ultimagical Hair-Defrizzifying Deep-Cleanifying Shampoo for her. (Sigh.) The sacrifices we make for our mates!

Oh, someone's knocking at the door! I'd better get it…

**12:37**

It was Olivia Pucey. Wondering if she could have my Charms book… She accidentally 'Evanesco'-ed it during the Vanishing Spells lesson last year. She hasn't found it yet.

**12:38**

Probably because Samuel and Gregory, two Ravenclaws in our year actually stole it. Olivia Pucey couldn't Vanish a speck of dust! She couldn't Vanish food if it was on her plate in front of her with a fork and knife in each hand!

**12:39**

She said something that I THINK was supposed to be funny, so I forced a laugh.

It sounded _abominable._

She ripped the book out of my hands and left.

**12:40**

Prat.

**12:41**

I'm going for lunch now, and then I have Trans. with Alice.

**1:31, En Route to Transfiguration Class**

Well, as I am one minute late already I though I might just mention that McGonagall is going to rip my arms off for this… I'm not even in _her_ House! She's very odd about attendance, that one.

**1:34, In the Transfiguration Room, Beside Alice**

_Oh, thank Merlin!_ She's not here yet! I get to keep my arms. All there is is a cat sitting on the table, looking murderously at me… Goodness, that cat actually reminds me of----

**1:36**

MERLIN! THE CAT JUST TURNED INTO MY TEACHER! BY MERLIN'S BEARD, THAT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED!!

She's glaring daggers at me now… I think I might be in to lose my arms in any case…

**Considerably Later, Not Sure of the Exact Time, I Don't Have a Watch**

Some bloke just walked in to find his umbrella, medium height with short brown hair… Think he's in Gryffindor… Yes. He is. He's the one who sits beside Weasley the Bleeding Prefect. Poor fellow, he must never be able to finish his work what with people spewing bodily fluids all over him.

There's nothing remarkable about his appearance---he just wanted to question his Head of House. He was strictly told off by an irate McGonagall. Poor chap. I'd hate to be on the wrong side of _her _tongue.

She's the only Head who goes harder on her students than all the rest! All of the other Heads, Slughorn especially, are easy on their own Houses. I think Flitwick does a good job… He treats us all about the same, I should think.

The bloke's looking around the class now… Can't think what he's doing.

**A Short Time After That**

Alice is turning very red. I wonder if she's hot?

**A Few Moments Later**

Alice, I have decided, is most certainly _not hot, _unless of course in another context altogether.

If my suspicions are correct, journal, Miss Alice _fancies _the Gryffindor bloke!

**A Second Later!**

YES! SHE MUST! The instant he walked by she put her head down and blushed _absolutely furiously, _I thought she might explode! She barely _breathed!_ Alice Hopkins, Resident Bookworm, _fancies _a _perfect stranger! _I _must _talk to her… Wait, McGonagall's looking.

The strange bloke is leaving!

OH, MERLIN! I can BARELY believe it… But my intuition tells me… I _must _watch her next Astrology class, we have it with Gryffindor… I can BARELY wait for Thursday night!!

**3:06, En Route To Charms**

Well, Eddy's beside me now. We're off to Charms, probably may favourite subject. Everything we learn in Charms is actually useful, not like in Divination. We'll never use any of that utter rubbish in real life!

Coming up around the bend are two figures…

Merlin! They both have long blonde hair… Are two _girls _snogging each other in the _hallway?_

Wait, no… It can't be. They both look familiar… and eerily similar…

Eddy looked at me and whispered, "I can't believe she's snogging Malfoy in the halls like that… I mean, I know one is my sister… But _which one?"_

**3:10, In the Charms Room**

We BARELY arrived one time… MERLIN! Neither of us can _breathe _for laughing!!

**5:28, Leaving Charms**

No, wait, Professor Flitwick's calling Eddy and I back… Better go see what he wants.

**5:54, REALLY Leaving Charms**

Well.

I've just made a _very _uncomfortable promise.

The things we do for our mates!

You see, Prof. Flitwick wanted Eddy to tutor some of the worse first years in Charms. She looked like she was about to _die, _but of course she said yes, because Professor Flitwick made her a Prefect last year… She looked so abominably horrified at the prospect of teaching; she doesn't like firsties much. Being a Prefect, she deals with them enough… So I sort of, well, jumped in and volunteered my help too.

Professor Flitwick looked so happy I was afraid he might pass out.

We start on Thursday. Day after tomorrow! Dammit!

I REALLY should not have done that!

Bloody Eddy bloody Charms bloody first-years… bloody Tonks, drawing in the corner… bloody Xeno and Stella, snogging in _another _corner… bloody Potions essay… bloody… ha!… bloody Arthur Weasley! URGH!

Well, my Potions essay isn't going to finish itself…

**A/N: Pretty boring chapter, I know, and--SIGH--no Arthur. But there be MUCH Arthur in the next two chapters, I promise! Hope you enjoyed it, please leave a review!!! ;)**


	5. The Singing Whale PART ONE

**Chapter Five**

**The Singing Whale: PART ONE**

**Disclaimer: NOT MINE, as you well know. Sorry it's taken so long to get this up… School's been a nightmare! I had MAJOR edits, and I had to cut some really funny stuff… : (**

**A/N: Be proud of me, I've been **_**favourited **_**a couple times!! Thanx, all!!**

**Oh, yes… Please review: )**

**7:43, Great Hall, Ravenclaw Table. **

Oh MERLIN, it's WEDNESDAY!

I know I haven't written in a while… Three days, actually. But, well… Nothing's happened. Except for that same old owl smashing into some or other bowl/plate of food and sending it up in waves…

Pity. Such a waste of food!

But still, not worth mentioning!

Alice has improved considerably in her Dyslexus Charm… And her eyebrows are finally starting to grow back!

Oh, _Merlin… _I am most certainly not looking forward to this evening… Tutoring first years?! _What was I thinking? _I'm going to be a terrible mother. I don't have a clue how to handle children!! 

**8:12**

I despise boys. At least, well, certain ones, Gregory primary among them… He's lately taken to calling me 'love.' He must really like a good row --- he just passed over this end and said, cool as you please, "How's it, Molly, love?" with this huge, stupid grin on his face. Sometimes I cannot _believe _he's in the Ravenclaw house… He's _such _a dolt.

**8:13**

Eddy and Alice are grinning at me.

**8:14**

Prats.

**8:15**

Just because I can't express my utter annoyance and anger IN HIS PRESENCE, does NOT mean that it does NOT EXIST!!!

**8:16**

WILL THEY STOP GRINNING?! PRATS! UTTER PRATS!!! AND GREGORY, KING OF PRATS, THE PRAT PRINCE!!!

**8:17**  
Goodness, Merlin alive, can I not have a _moment's peace??_

**8:18**

Well, I mean, it's not like I don't like Gregory noticing me, it's the _manner _in which he does it. In all fairness, he's a handsome bloke, you know, in a rough sort of way.

**8:19**

DON'T YOU READ THAT OVER MY SHOULDER!! I'm putting Dyslexus on EVERYTHING I've ever written in this bloody journal!! Bloody Gregory! They're supposed to be my bloody FRIENDS!!

**8:20, En Route to Transfiguration**

A Note, to Dear Alice and Eddy,

Please take note. EVERYTHING I wrote above was specifically designed to throw you off of my actual feelings, of which THERE ARE NONE.

It was because I KNEW all along you would read it, and should be treated AS SUCH! 

**8:23, Transfiguration Room**

I'm going to Dyslexus this right after I write it. But I really _do _think that Gregory is good looking. I mean, well, I don't like _him, _you know.

He's an utter lunkhead.

But many people share the opinion that he's attractive! It's nothing to be _ashamed of. _In fact, I never even _said _I was ashamed! Or even SHY to ADMIT IT!!

**8:27, Trans. Room**

_You and I both know what Molly's on about. And I've decided it's time for a little intervention. Now, Molly won't read this until much later---_

_**We sort of snuck this out of her bag… (But it's FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! If you fancy Gregory, that's brilliant---)**_

_And it's __**obvious **__that she does. I mean, you and I can tell, Molly blushes whenever he talks to her!  
__**Eddy. I WAS WRITING! **_

_Sorry. Merlin, do you believe this girl?_

_**QUICK, HIDE IT!! She's looking over!!**_

**8:33**

_**Merlin! Won't Molly QUIT LOOKING OVER HERE??  
**__It would be nice. But anyway, Alice, let's cut to the chase here---_

_**We're giving him the OK, right? **_

_NATURALLY! The official Friends Seal of Approval._

_**We've known him for…what?  
**__About six years, Alice!  
__**Yes. About six. Now, we want Molly to be very safe about this. I know Molly… Once she knows we think he's alright, she'll probably confront him. And she can be very intimidating! (In the best sense possible, naturally, ha ha!) **_

_No, you know what, Molly should just ignore you! GO FOR IT, MOLLY! _

**8:50, Transfiguration Room**

You know, they have SOME CHEEK, stealing my book in the middle of class and writing _such unfounded suspicions in it!_

I DO NOT FANCY GREGORY!

I DO NOT FANCY GREGORY!

I DO NOT FANCY GREGORY!

I DO NOT FANCY GREGORY!

I DO NOT FANCY GREGORY!

I DO NOT FANCY GREGORY!

I DO NOT FANCY GREGORY!

I DO NOT FANCY GREGORY!

How many times must I write it before it gets drilled into their brains?

And my blush can be easily explained --- it isn't a _blush, _it's a _flush of anger _because he's a CHEEKY PRAT, like some other people who will not be mentioned!!! 

**8:56**

Perhaps I _do _fancy Gregory. BUT ONLY A VERY LITTLE! And I'll _never _under _any circumstances _tell THEM that. They'd bother the life out of me!

**1:34, Potions Class, the Dungeons**

Finally! I've been waiting for the instructional to end so I could write about something, well… plainly, quite sad.

Well, I was late to class today. So was Arthur (I've decided that maybe you'll understand who I'm talking about now… He seems to be in this journal quite a lot, probably on account of his owl, the Food Surfer).

I dropped my things, actually. While I was bending to pick them up, I heard someone, in some or other dark corner, mutter a curse…

It was just awful!

My initial thought was that I'd just solved a mystery.

My second thought was that I should probably fix Arthur's nose before class…

It's an _awful _curse, and I hate to describe it. Some Slythierin slime, naturally. I wouldn't put it past that Malfoy. The curse struck Arthur Weasley like a brick wall. _Literally. _

It actually looked as though a brick wall had come speeding at him and smashed his nose in. Quite frankly I'm astonished that he survived.

But survive he did. He actually got up, ignored the snickering and the ear-splitting high-pitched giggle (which MUST be Narcissa,) and _hurried on to class._

"ARTHUR! ARTHUR WEASLEY!" I cried, dashing after his bleeding, staggering form. He whipped around. One hand was plugging his smashed nose. In fact, he looked quite resigned, as if it was something he'd just have to live with.

"Weasley! Come here… I'll get that!" I said, smacking his hand away from his nose. "_Episkey!"_

It jumped back together from all over his face.

"And the blood… _Evanseco Sang!"_

His robes… I'm not bragging when I say they were immaculate.

"Thanks…Prewett, is it?" he asked, feeling his nose with his hand, as if startled that he still had one.

I nodded. "You shouldn't let them do that to you." I said firmly.

He shrugged. "There's not much I can do."

I looked at him incredulously. I mean, the bloke has _no backbone._

"But you have to… You have to stand up for yourself!"

"And hex the daylights out of them?" he asked wryly, lifting one rust-coloured eyebrow. "And end up in detention? Only to have myself blown to bits the next time I set foot out of my dormitory? Only to hex them some more? Only to stoop down to their level? Only to be expelled?"

Now that I think of it, what he was saying made some sense. In a spineless kind of way.

"Thanks again, Prewett. My nose would be in bits without you."

So he did thank me. Twice. So what? He's polite. That doesn't mean he's not spineless.

**1:38**

Alright, so I exaggerated a little when I called Arthur Weasley spineless. He must have _some _spine, if he sets foot outside his dormitory with people like that no-good slime ball Malfoy out to smash his face in. But he needs a little nerve.

This is just a thought, but I probably _would _have hexed the daylights out of them, and landed in detention, and been hexed the daylights out of, and been blown to bits. But Malfoy's not after _me._

**2:46, En Route to Lecture Hall**

I love these blessed break periods! We can simply sit and pretend to work, and pass notes, and laugh for the entire time!

**3:01, Lecture Hall**

Silly Eddy, the prat. Of course _she'd _suggest that we do practical Charms and quiz each other for tonight's tutoring session… But I ask this: _Why would Professor Flitwick let us tutor if we weren't already brilliant at it? _So why practise??

**3:35**

So, I blew up a bookcase. So what?! I _still _don't think I need to practise! 

**3:39**

Make that _two _bookcases… BUT THE SECOND ONE WAS NOT MY FAULT!!!

**3:46**

Make that two bookcases and a third year Hufflepuff… Alright, fine. Maybe I should be practising rather than writing in this bloody notebook!!! 

**5:46, Approximately. Why Does No One have a Watch?!?**

Sorry about the smear of gravy on this page, but I was eating a forkful of turkey when I opened it…

And now that I have it open, I've got nothing to write. Except that Gregory said "Hey, Prewett," to me about…oh, say four minutes ago. And Eddy and Alice _won't stop smiling._

PRATS!

_**Oh, Mooooollllyyyyy!  
**_No?

_**Scorcher, that one. But you know what? I think Gregory's going to ask you to go to Hogsmeade with him on Saturday!**_

WE HAVE A HOGSMEADE TRIP ON SATURDAY??? Why doesn't anyone tell me this!!  
_**Mols, you have a calendar of school events hanging on the wall in the bathroom.**_

Yes, well… Hanging a poster on the wall and _thoroughly consulting _it are two entirely separate things.

_**You're moving away from the topic.**_

_**We know you fancy Gregory. WE KNOW, Molly, you don't have to pretend. We're sixteen for Merlin's sake, it's not as if we believe in cooties any more!**_

It's…not about that. I know that if I ever tell you I fancy Gregory (AND I DON'T) that you and Eddy will _never _quit making digs about it!

_**I promise I won't make a dig. Well, not until you start going out.**_

Alright, fine. So I find him **mildly attractive. **But I don't like HIM.

…

You PROMISED you wouldn't make a DIG!

_**Haha, Molly, I'm not making a dig… I'm just laughing!!**_

Will you STOP? People are looking over here!!

_**I knew. Eddy and I KNEW you fancied him!**_

I DO NOT FANCY HIM, GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!!!  
_**Oh, yes… Well, naturally. But Molly, you telling us that you finding somebody 'mildly attractive' is like Eddy or I saying that we're madly in love!**_

It does not! Many people are mildly attractive… Samuel is mildly attractive! Tonks is mildly attractive (albeit very shy)! Even… even… even… _Arthur Weasley _is mildly attractive!! You could even say that _Slughorn _is mildly attractive… If you happen to be a female walrus who is blind in both eyes!

_**Tsk tsk… Molly, Molly, Molly, whatever shall I do with you? You've just admitted being mildly attracted to Teddy Tonks, who's one of our best mates, Samuel, who picks his nose in Trans… Arthur Weasley, who---- wait, who's Arthur Weasley??**_

A bloke who comes into Potions late with his nose smashed in.

_**Is he, as you put it, 'mildly attractive?'**_

Most boys can be called that. He's the really tall, really thin bloke with red hair. Of course, it's not as red as _mine, _but for non-redheads it could be called red.

_**You mean Frank Longbottom's friend?**_

_**Why're you looking at me like that…?  
Stop it!**_

You have something for Frank Longbottom, don't you? He must be the Gryffindor with the short hair, the one who walked into Trans that day. You wouldn't quit blushing, Eddy and I thought you were going to explode!

_**I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT! Well, maybe I do. I'm no good at lying. You'd have seen through me anyways.**_

So?

_**So what?**_

SO?

_**OH! Well, I think he's…well, I'm not so sure.**_

From you, dear Alice, that's as good as "I find his beauty as stunning as the pink-cheeked setting sun, which smears the sky in all it's golden balm…He is as ravishing as the---

_**Molly STOP! You shouldn't be making digs at me!**_

At least I'm not screeching like a hyena and attracting the attention of HALF THE ROOM!

_**I DO NOT sound like a hyena. This is coming from the girl who sings Aida and Carmen in the shower!  
**_I think I sing fairly well, thank you very much, and I'll appreciate it if you don't dig at my singing anymore!

_**Let's just not make digs any more, alright?**_

Agreed. Shall we head up to our dorm?

_**After you!**_

**A/N: K, I'm sorry this chapter's not really that funny… I had to cut this chapter in half because the part where she tutors the first years is going to take a while to write. **

**It's going to be one big, long entry much later at night, in the Hospital Wing, and yes, Molly considers herself the Whale. **

**But that's explained in PT TWO, which is forthcoming!! So watch out for it, leave a review!! CHEERS, Eponine : )**


	6. The Singing Whale PART TWO

**Chapter Six**

**The Singing Whale: PART TWO  
**

**Disclaimer: **HP is property of JK and NOTHING I can say or do will change that!!! ---CRY----

K, so this took maybe twelve minutes to write, because I knew where it was going… Funnier than last time, scout's honour. (That's something the Americans say. It's like saying "I swear!")

PLEEZE LEEVE A REEVYOO!

(Please leave a review!)

**5:45, Charms Room, Waiting Impatiently for Tutor-ees to Arrive**

I am really mad at Eddy right now.

I still cannot believe that I signed up to tutor firsties in Charms. More accurately, I cannot believe I let Eddy talk me into it. And they're not all going to be Ravenclaw firsties either. There are _so _many things I would rather be doing right now… Studying for my Potions test on Monday or working on my DADA essay… SO many things I could be doing…

_First and foremost of which is Gregory!  
_ANDROMEDA BLACK!!!! Merlin's beard! Will you PLEASE not say things like that!

_By the way, you__'__re blushing, which means that I know I__'__m right._

TWO-FACED NINNY!  
_MEAN!  
_PRAT!

_Oh, that one was just scalding__…__ I can barely breathe._

Okay, put away the frown… Here come the FIRSTIES!  
_Duh duh dunnn__…_

**7:45, Hospital Wing**

You know, for a minute there I honestly believed that Arthur Weasley's opinion of me could not sink any lower. I've burned a huge hole in my robes. He has… He's SEEN my bloody KNICKERS… All in one horrendous, dragging nightmare… And here I am in the Hospital Wing, and I have Spellotape on my mouth.

Why, pray tell?

It's mortifying.

**Do not **laugh.

I have to write this out. I have to write this out if it kills me, and it probably will.

I was tutoring first years in Charms, about two hours ago. They all walked in a dragging, fearful sort of way, as if Eddy and I would run up and pick off the stragglers. Eddy's cousin Sirius was one of them, he and his little group of boys… one, Potter, (no, maybe it was Porter?) appeared to be his best mate the way they stuck together. There was a third boy too… Small and sort of ratty looking. You know? Some kids are very cute and have bright eyes and round faces, but not this one. He looked… I don't know. Shy. Nervous. He kept biting his bottom lip. I think he really was under the impression that I was going to gut him! Silly thing.

There were maybe thirteen in total, all of them different shapes and sizes and so forth, but I won't describe them to you. They're boring. No, only remember Mouseboy and the Little Black, and Porter. (Or was it Potter?) They are the three prattish little keys to my great undoing!

I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE THEM! Little prats!

But this isn't the time for anger…. BREATHE. I'm telling a tale of tragedy and woe here!

It went alright really. Very neat. A couple of desks were reduced to ashes, but nothing a little _Reparo _won't fix. I can say it all I want, even if I do blow up a bookcase every now and then… I'm rather good at Charms. It's my best subject, actually, it's just that when my focus isn't there…you get the fires and the implosions and so on, etc.

I am utterly pathetic… This had been coming down the pipe for me for some time… I just didn't see it until it came so far down the bloody pipe that it hit me in the eye! Eddy turned from a little Slytherin who was successfully levitating a text book and said, "I'm just going to slip off to the loo… You can handle this, right?"

Nothing odd about that, right? Nothing. "Sure!" I answered. Oh… I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. The little firsties were all playing so nice… Each of them practising their nice little charms and being such good little pupils… She left. I still can't believe she actually left me.

I was just peachy. In charge of a class Molly? No problem. I actually did alright. Until…well, Potter.

You see, Eddy didn't come back. When she went to the loo she was accosted by an irate Peeves and covered in ink… Seems to be his new favourite joke.

I hate Peeves.

So the class went smoothly enough. That little Slytherin prat dropped the text on my foot five or six times (and it was HEAVY) but all went well. When it was time for them to go, I sat down on a desk and watched them all file out to return to their dorms.

"Alright," I sighed, "Time for Eddy to get back."

You have no idea how relieved I was to have them finally gone. But Porter (or WAS it Potter?) and his friends straggled… Potter seemed to shake Black and Mouseboy off. They left through the door, looking mutinous. The boy just stood by his desk, fiddling around with the clasps on his book bag. Cute little bloke… One of the cute firsties. I got an urge to hug him. He was nervous, poor little thing… Seemed to want to ask me something. My heart went out to him.

Stupid bloody Molly.

I went over to the desk and sunk down on my knees so we were eye to eye. Nothing was too remarkable about him, but he was so _little… _I have a huge soft spot for little kids, and this one seemed very bothered by something.

"Hey," I said softly. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, mutely.

"You know, if something's bothering you, you can tell me. I'm your tutor, and you're supposed to trust me. But if you just want to sit there until McGonagall finds you and docks a zillion points off that's okay too."

He cracked a little smile.

You know, firsties are still just little. Very wee little people in a big and not-wee place, where they've never been. And yes. I'm not his Prefect. I'm not _even _a Prefect. I'm not _even in his House. _But kids are my weakness! A HORRENDOUS WEAKNESS, AS I WAS SOON TO LEARN!

"You're not a Prefect." he stated, looking at me squarely.

"No. I'm a Ravenclaw. And I'm not a Prefect. So what do you want to ask me?"

"You're not going to…to curse me, are you? 'Cause Sirius said you would!" he cried.

I laughed. I'm probably THE last person to curse a firstie. "NO!"

He gave an audible sigh of relief. Then he moved over and sat down on the desk next to me.

"So… so there's this girl," he started. I rolled my eyes, but I was smiling.

"It's always about a girl," I sighed. I think he must have sensed my good humour, even if I found it exceedingly odd for a little Gryffindor to seek out a big Ravenclaw who isn't even a Prefect.

"Well… I asked _my _Prefect about her. But he wasn't too much help."

I smiled down at him. "You can't ask a boy about girls. That's like asking a fish about a zebra!"

Porter looked up at me indignantly. "That's what _he _said, but I figured he'd know, because at the beginning of the year he told all of us that we could ask him _anything!"_

"So you asked him," I prompted. Poor bloke. He must have been taken aback by an eleven-year-old asking for advice on love --- I certainly was! "And what did he say?"

"Well, he said 1) I should talk to a girl because he doesn't know anything about them. And went on and on like this, which was odd because he's a quiet bloke usually. So I told him 'I thought we could ask you _anything!' _and he goes on to say 'You can ask me anything, but I can't promise answers!'" The expression on Potter's face told me that he thought that was bogus. "Bogus," he muttered. "So I'm asking you!"

My immediate reaction was to ask "Why?"

"Well, I know you're not a Gryffindor, and you're not a Prefect, but you _are_ a girl," he pointed out. How very observant of him to notice…not too many blokes have.

"Why didn't you ask your own girl Prefect?" I asked him. He scrubbed a hand through his black, unruly hair, making it stand up even worse. My thoughts flew to the hairbrush and comb I had in the dormitory bathrooms. Maternal urge. Oy!

"Her hair's brown."

A simple statement of fact.

"And yours is red."

Another one. He was looking as if this was the simplest thing on earth to understand. Sadly, I didn't have the mental capacity to fathom why it mattered. Porter picked up on this.

"The girl…she has red hair, and so do you!" he exclaimed, "And so does my Prefect, the bloke I asked! I thought, you know…" he struggled. "Asking a brown-haired girl about a red-haired girl might be like asking a rat about a hippo… Like asking a _boy _about a girl! So I'm asking you, because you're old, and you have red hair, and you're my tutor. And you look sort of like my aunt Elly, and she's nice."

Wait a minute. Now that I've written this down, it looks a lot worse to me. I've been called and old tutor who looks like his aunt Elly. Merlin, I NEVER want to know what aunt Elly looks like! In hindsight I probably should've been _affronted _by all of this. But I felt rather nice at the time.

"So…You're asking me because your girl and I have the same colour of _hair?_" I laughed. It's pretty ridiculous, how ideas get into people!

"Well…yeah," he said sullenly. Porter seemed to know I was laughing at him. But I WASN'T BEING MEAN!!!

"And she's not 'my girl.' Well…not _yet," _he said carefully.

I smiled. "So, you like this girl…What's the problem?"

Potter just sighed. He looked dejected, sitting there with his little shoulders all stooped. I figure this was bad news.

"She thinks I'm annoying," he said sadly. His tone suggested that he thought this fact was the end of the world.

"You know," I said brightly, "Sometimes a girl will say things like that when they don't mean them."

(I'm NOT that kind of girl…I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!)  
"_Really?" _he asked. "So…she likes me?"

His face lit up visibly. I think perhaps the room got brighter.

"Well, I didn't mean tha---"

"I have to talk to her! I really have to!!! Thank you so much aunt Elly!!"

"_MOLLY," _I corrected. Cute kid? Sure. But I am _nobody's _aunt Elly.

"Melly!" he corrected himself, falsely. He grabbed his book bag, alung it over his shoulder and started for the door.

I sighed. He stopped.

"Oh, yeah… What's the motion incantation again?" he called back. His wand was at the ready.

Silly little firstie! Couldn't write an incantation down? Not one bloody INCANTATION?! And I, like the sappy idiot I am, told him.

_Operandus._

I COULD'VE said _Locomotor. _That's the more common one. MOLLY, IDIOT!!! TELL HIM LOCOMOTOR!!

"_Operandus," _I said.

DAMN STUPID BLOODY SPELL.

He flicked his wand. Harmlessly. Opened his mouth. Harmlessly. Said the incantation.

"_Operata!"_

He said it wrong.

The word that is the reason I am NOW SITTING IN THE HOSPITAL WING, with SPELLOTAPE on my mouth!!!! URGH!!!

It hit me with a small ping. I didn't _feel _any different. That is, until I opened my mouth.

It felt as if something was inside my lungs, trying to escape…

I opened my mouth intent on saying "It's _Operanda, _not _Operata."_ And those were the words that came out… I'm mortified just thinking about it. "It's _Operanda, _not _Operata," _did come out. Just not in the manner I expected. You see, _Operata _is a spell. An _opera _spell.

The final syllable of the sentence came in a magnificent high note, so earsplitting I'm sure the WHOLE CASTLE heard it. I turned as red as my hair.

Potter was staring at me open-mouthed. I slapped my hands over my mouth.

"What did you_ do?" _I whispered. Only, once again, it came out in an operatic whisper. And I couldn't help it!

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!" I sang. The word 'wrong' must have been a high C at the least. And it was exceedingly loud.

"I DON'T KNOW!" he cried.

"I can't stop SIIIIIIIIING-ING!" I shrieked. I had NO control over my vocal chords! "WHAT AM I GOING TO _DO?!" _

"You're very good!" Porter said timidly, smiling tentatively, shrinking away.

"Oh NOOOOOOOO!" My voice resonated in the empty room. "PLEASE, GET SOME HEEEEEEELP!"

It was like something from a nightmare… Even when I tried to control it, it was trying to escape…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" I broke out, turning even more red.

"Okay…um, alright, stay here, I'll go get help!" he cried, looking very afraid. I cut the note short by stuffing my fist in my mouth… The impulse was to spit it out and continue my wordless aria to the ceiling. My free hand was travelling upwards into the air.

HURRY, PORTER, PLEASE HURRY!!! I thought frantically. You have NO idea what it's like. It was as if something was inside of my lungs and trying violently to escape. It still is. The only thing stopping it is the tape across my mouth.

"In here!"

I heard Potter's voice, half laughing, half serious. He was in the hall, probably with a teacher--- No. Actually, who walked in behind him was the last person that I wanted to see me in this state. Arthur Weasley.

Oh yes. He's the Gryffindor Prefect for sixth year, you know. He was out looking for Potter, because he didn't return to his dormitory with the others and it was getting close to curfew. I just stared at him around my fist.

"Er…" he started, looking at the firstie. "You said there was something wrong with her?"

The song was welling up inside of me --- to release some of the awful tension, I let out a very quiet medium-pitch "Aaaaaaah." Thankfully, neither of them heard it. Once I was finished I stepped towards them. Tentatively, I took my fist from my mouth.

Bad idea.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I wailed. It echoed all through the room…I swear I heard mice fleeing before me. The sound wouldn't have been out of place in, say, the Sidney Opera House, but it was the last thing I needed the school to hear!!!

I must have turned an awful shade of purple… It was quite some time before I could draw breath… Just THINKING about it makes me shudder!!! URGH!

Arthur Weasley, Gryffindor Prefect, always seems to catch me at my worst moments. Not to mention I'd called him spineless that day already. He looked utterly stunned.

"I'm so-rry!" I cried in embarrassment. It took three downward steps, and actually would have sounded alright if I hadn't been positively mortified.

"No, no, er---" he cleared his throat, straightening his face from the embarrassed laugh it had formed to. "We'll just…er…James!" he said suddenly, looking at the boy who was standing quietly, and I suspect trying very hard not to laugh. "Go back to your dormitory…I'm just going to…uh, escort Miss Prewett to the Hospital Wing."

"MOLLY!" I corrected automatically. I cut off the lengthy vibrato that tailed it woth growing frustration and clamped my hands over my mouth again.

Porter (or James, as he should now be called) made a noise that was somewhere between a snort and a laugh, before he waved at me and dashed off. Little stinker. I'll bet he went and told Sirius Black and all his little pals about it!

Keeping my hands clamped firmly over my lips, I followed Arthur Weasley through the door and into the hallway. He looked at me with one eyebrow piqued. "How'd this happen?" he asked. His tone was conversational. Feeling like I needed to answer, I forced it out as quickly as I could to the tune to The Habanera from Carmen.

"Potter hit me-ee

With a spe-ell

That's seemed to go

Horrif-icall-y wrong

And for some rea-son

I can't stop sing-ing

And I really don't think

The Hosp-tal Wing will heeeeelp."

He looked at me oddly before saying lightly, "That's the Habanera from Carmen."

Bloody hell. The bloke knows classical Muggle opera. I knew he was probably odd, but I wasn't sure because being odd myself I'm inclined to think every one else is normal.

"You're ve-ry right

It's that ve-ry sooooong

But I didn't think

That you'd re-cog-nize it!" was what I said, although it didn't fill up the bars.

"For what it's worth," he said, with a small smile that may or may not have been laughing at me, "You're very good."

And then he sped on.

As I said. Very odd.

But it did make me blush profusely and wish that I could curl up and die.

Eventually, we did make it to the Hospital Wing, although I mostly had to run. The disadvantage of being short… ---SIGH--- But still. The more we went on, the harder I was finding it to control my high-C urges… I must have burst out five or six times, finally, when we stepped into the Hospital Wing, I could bear it no longer and----

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH --- IT APPEARS I CAN'T STOP --- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WOULD SOOOOOOOMEBODY PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASE HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEE---AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Arthur jumped about five feet in surprise… Unable to draw breath, I continued to sing until it reached a point where I could no longer hear myself. Arthur made this sudden silence very clear by punctuating it with a loud, "I think you can stop, Molly. Only dogs can hear you now."

Through the extravagant series of vocal acrobatics that I would not usually have been able to perform, and the fact that I was running out of air, I still managed to give him a particularly filthy look that anybody could be proud of. Madam Pomfrey suddenly appeared, looking hassled.

"Please, dear! Some people are trying to sleep!! Have you no respect for the injured?!"

"Er, Madam Pomfrey, she---"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MADAM POOOOOOOOMFREY I CAN'T STOOOOOOOOP SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGING IS THERE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYTHIIIIIIIIIING YOU CAN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!!!!"

The DO part must have broken the scale. It was a high G, at the very least. Both of them winced.

"_Accio Spellotape!" _Madam Pomfrey cried. I watched nervously as it flew across the room… Hard, sticky, and bloody impossible to remove.

Bloody hell.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU CAAAAAAAAAN'T DOOOO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I sang furiously, backing up, still crying "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" into the otherwise silent wing.

And then, my mouth was shut.

Bloody Madam Pomfrey. I'm now sitting in a bed, and Arthur Weasley is looking very uncomfortable on a tiny stool with his legs all curled up awkwardly, as the stool is too short for him. But at least I can breathe now. It is, however, going to hurt a bloody lot when she rips the tape off…

Well, I'll never have to worry about facial hair again.

**Okay! So, pleeze tell me what you think?? More of this stuff?? Less? More Alice/Eddy or less? And what about Gregory, yay or nay. Remember, this stuff counts to me! Tell me if you think it's funny, or if you don't like it so much, but please:**

**NO BURNS. THAT'S NOT NICE!!!**

**Play nice, kiddies: ) **

**Cheerio, -Eponine **


	7. Twelve Things About Frank Longbottom

**Chapter Seven**

**Twelve Things about Frank Longbottom (and a Few about Arthur!)**

**Disclaimer: Okay, no, I don't own it… it's not mine…etc. etc. **

**A/N: Thank you oodles to those who reviewed chapters five & six!! I'm sorry this chappie is so short but it's for you: )**

**---------------------**

**8:33 a.m., Hospital Wing**

No one has come to see me. I must be an awful person to deserve this!!

**8:34**

WAIT… MERLIN!!! It's Eddy and Alice!!! THEY CAME!!! Now, journal, I have more important things to do than talk to you…

**9:23**

They're lovely. I really love my mates, you know? Eddy and Alice and Xeno and Tonks (he drew me a picture…myself, in opera garb, blowing away the audience. Prat. But it was a nice gesture)…even Stella, Xeno's girlfriend… the other Ravenclaw boys… _even_ that Olivia Pucey, and Geraldine, and Natasha came to see me!!!

I'm loved, isn't it brilliant?!

And they brought breakfast, AND cards, AND sweets, AND somebody sent me flowers!! They're lovely, sitting on my bedside table… Gladiolas. Original, to be sure!

**9:45**

It's… well, it's awfully lonely here. Madam Pomfrey managed to work out a concoction to stop the singing urges… She said that I might develop an odd complex about certain music, though.

You know, it's odd. But I sort of expected Arthur Weasley to come see me. Odd. But I must've scared him something awful last night!!

**9:51**

Good Merlin on high. It's bloody awful, being alone in the Hospital Wing like this!! WHEN DO I GET OUT?? But…goodness, I'm tired all of a su---

**10:32**

Arthur Weasley did come to see me. And he spilled orange juice all over me when I was sleeping!! He claims it was an accident. _I think not. _He's probably more of a prat than he lets on.

Well, he's sitting on a stool now, looking somewhat anxious… I'd better put this book away, so I can strangle him. This had better be good, having Pomfrey scrape the juice out of my hair was my idea of living hell and I'm NEVER GOING TO LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SLEEP UNDER A CLEAR PLASTIC TARP.

NOBODY SPILLS JUICE ON MOLLY PREWETT AND LIVES!!!

**11:03**

Arthur didn't come to see me about me. Or even about me being injured.

He came to see me about Alice.

Well, not really… He came for a sort of… URGH! It's difficult to explain! I'll just write it out, it was sort of a diplomatic mission concerning Frank Longbottom, the boy that I STILL THINK Alice fancies. And if she DOESN'T…Well, lets put it frankly (ha ha! Frank, Frankly! It's mildly amusing, see??) It'll probably hurt his self-esteem.

"Well," he started, tentatively. Come on! I wasn't going to hex him into oblivion! (Actually, I had intended on doing just that, but let's not get technical here!) "It's about your friend…Alice, I think?"

Well. That hit me like a load of bricks. I had actually tricked myself into thinking that he was going to… well, I wasn't expecting _that!_

"Oh," I replied, somewhat disheartened. "I could, well I suppose I could talk to her for you. If you want," I added.

You have no idea how relieved I felt when he cried, "NO! I mean, well, Alice's _nice_, I guess, but this…I mean, well, it's not about _me, _it's about my friend --- Frank? Frank Longbottom?"

I opened my mouth and embarrassed myself again. Naturally.

"Oh! You mean Short Guy!"

I am _mortified _that I said that. That, my friend, is a new low. Even for me. But Arthur, Merlin love him, didn't mind. He _laughed. _He actually _laughed _at that. "Short Guy?! He's five-nine!"

"He looks short when he stands next to you," I said defensively. Then, I mentally slapped myself. What is with me and saying silly things these days?!

Arthur snorted. "Most people do."

"I'd probably look like a five-year-old standing next to you!" SLAP, MOLLY! BIG MENTAL SLAP! He must think I'm _such _an idiot! Why not just go right out and say it: I'm short and fat. Nothing could be less attractive.

Not that I really want to look attractive to Arthur Weasley… he's seen me at my utter worst. He thinks I'm a living nightmare! URGH!

Actually…well, I fancy Gregory. But that doesn't mean I can't act a little less like a moron around other blokes!

He just shrugged. Really, Merlin love him. At least he doesn't _show _that he's embarrassed by me. And why should he be? I mean, I'd been embarrassed and cursed the day before!

"So, well, about your friend," he went on.

"Alice." I told him. He'd better remember… Alice is one of my best mates, and if Frank really likes her, Arthur can't go around calling her Annie…or Afton!

"Yes, about Alice," he stopped to clear his throat. "Frank doesn't know I'm talking to you about it. So I'd appreciate you not telling him, or Alice for that matter."

"Does Frank like Alice?" I blurted out. THAT is one thing I am NOT ashamed of having blurted, although blurt it I did.

[Blurt…Blurting…Blurted…BLURT…HA! That's such a funny word! Just say it a few times!! BLURT BLURT BLURT!

It was a question that needed an immediate answer.

Arthur was slightly taken aback by this question, but he thought about it for a moment before answering. "Yes, I believe he does. He's not the sort of bloke who asks girls out on any sort of basis unless he thinks that they'll be able to have fun together. _Innocent fun,__"_he added, somewhat loudly. Somebody who had been lying to all appearances inert on the other side of the room sniggered.

"Shove it, will you?" I cried, just as Arthur said mildly, "Will you please be quiet?"

That, I admit, was mildly embarrassing. I must've turned a little bit red, because Arthur cleared his throat before going on. "He's, well… you know. The basic things. A bloody good Exploding Snap player. His grades are alright, I guess."

"I need a little more detail than _that,__"_ I said indignantly. And so I did. "I can't decide if he's alright if I know nothing about him!"

"What is this?! A job interview?" Arthur cried, smiling, slightly perplexed. I do admit, that combination of emotions was…well, it was rather sweet. He looked nice, when he did that. Which is making me blush right now for having admitted it.

"Sort of, yes!" I answered. "Even though I'm interviewing _you _about your mate Frank, for _my _best mate Alice. And Alice is never going to find out about this. He sort of has to pass… I don't know…" I struggled.

Arthur supplied: "Inspection?"

"Precisely! So tell me about him." And then he did. I made a list at that point, which I'll insert HERE:

A List About Frank Longbottom, as Described to Molly Prewett by Arthur Weasley

He's good-natured (a general impression)

He's easy-going (also a general impression)

He, on occasion, blows things up (but don't we all? _don__'__t _we?)

He completes (most of) his homework

He likes a laugh, butterbeer, and Exploding Snap

He "sort of makes a snorting noise instead of laughing," but "you sorta get used to that" (which is perfect because Alice makes a wheezy noise when _she _laughs!)

He's "bloody good at making digs at people" (but the impression is sort of that he only does this when the person can hear, and only to people who'll laugh at it. This impression comes from a series of anecdotes Arthur's making about his friend and most of these things are impressions that I get from these, unless they are quotes, in which Arthur actually said them to me.)

Here, an assortment of things I'm sure blokes must appreciate on _some _level, because the one in here with me is talking about them! But I'm not writing them down, as I'm sure _Alice _won't appreciate them, as I do not!

He's been friends with Arthur "since we were about…what? Maybe nine or ten?" (implying that he can be devoted to relatioships eg., his relationship with his best mate.)

He hardly goes out with girls. This can be bad or good. Arthur thinks it might be a bad thing because he might not know what to do, "but he'll learn by experience."

The general fact that Arthur Weasley, who's a very decent sort of bloke as far as blokes go, will advocate for him is something, I suppose.

He's not for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Arthur was very adamant on this point --- which says a lot about _Arthur, _and not so much about _Frank. _I didn't think Arthur had it in him to be so vehement, but the quality his voice took on, though still low, was so _angry._ Arthur feels very strongly about Muggle rights and I think he wants to work in some area to do with Muggles when he leaves school. I asked him if he was a Muggleborn, (because that would make sense,) and I'm really surprised that he's not! He's actually pureblood on both sides, all the way back and as far as you can go. He knows a grand total of _three_ Muggles, which isn't an impressive number at all. When I asked him why he feels so strongly about their rights, he told me: "They're horrifically underrepresented in the wizarding world. We all have a sense that they walk around with blinders on and are handicapped in some way because they can't do magic, when really they're not --- they're even more driven and innovative when it comes to problem solving because they can't just look up some spell in the annals. They have to apply practical solutions, and the solutions _work. _They're definitely not handicapped or even at a disadvantage… Do you think even _half _the wizarding population understands how to use an electric stove, or a fellytone, or understands eklectrisitty?" I made a point of not asking what 'eklectrisitty' was. This bullet is getting FAR too long!

From thorough examination of this list, I decided that, should Frank ask Alice to go out with him that I would allow her to accept. Eddy should probably read this list too…

Well, next time we're in Potions, we shall observe him and see if he's a fit candidate for our Alice. We have a very strict no-buggers rule…and I hope that Eddy and Alice would be JUST AS STRICT on a bloke who wanted to ask ME out, (not that there have been any!).

Once Arthur left, I got my journal out and wrote…ALL OF THIS!!

I'm looking forward to getting back to classes tomorrow… It'll be Friday. Today's Thursday. THIS WEEKEND IS OUR FIRST HOGSMEADE TRIP!! I simply CANNOT wait!!!

And now, I am going to reread my Get Better cards, and have a packet of crisps!

**A/N: Yes, I know, it's not so funny. From here on in, chapters will probably be coming with at least a day between updates… I'm running low on ideas!! Yes, well… I've already written the ending. Just nothing in between!! It's very fluffy, and funny as well… I'm happy with it!!  
Thanks 2 all my reviewers… : )**

**Luff,**

**-Eponine**


	8. Rock Your Souls!

**Chapter Eight**

**Rock Your Souls!**

**DISCLAIMER: **You've all heard this spiel before. It's not, wasn't, and never will be mine… Now excuse me while I go and die…lol (And btw no, I hate Gregory too. But _somebody _should probably fancy Molly or her self-esteem will go down the drain!!) And yes… Sorry for taking soooooo long between updates… --SLAP-- what was I thinking?? School and whatnot!

Newaysss… On with the show!

**Friday, September 16****th**

**8:21 a.m., Great Hall**

Naturally, I didn't finish my Defense Against the Dark Arts essay.

Naturally, it's worth 5 percent of my final grade.

Naturally, my friends didn't bother to tell me.

Prats. I'm not talking to them anymore. I'm not even going to TRY to finish the essay… My life is just a whirling, black abyss…

But the toast is exceptional this morning---no, I really mean it! The elves have outdone themselves. And ---

YES, MAYBE FRANK LONGBOTTOM IS NOW TALKING TO ALICE… AND NOW HE'S WALKING AWAY… AND SHE'S BLUSHING AND SHE LOOKS VERY HAPPY… BUT I _WILL NOT TALK TO THEM. NEVER!_

**8:24**

I'm a filthy liar.

**8:25**

But just because I'm going to talk to her DOESN'T mean I'll forgive her!!

**8:26**

I'm a _rotten _filthy liar. I've already forgiven her, the prat!! I HAVE to find out what's going on!!

**8:28**

Morning, Alice.

_**Hello Molly. Come out of your black abyss so soon??**_

Ha ha. You should go on the road with that.

_**I thought you were never going to talk to me again?**_

Yes. Well. People tend to rethink some of the things they say. But I'm not _really _talking to you, you see? I'm _writing _to you.

_**You're a filthy rotten liar, Molly. You've already forgiven me.**_

MAYBE I HAVE, BUT IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!! What's going on with Frank?

_**He's just--- HEY! You can't slip it in like that, THAT'S NOT FAIR!  
**_All's fair in love and war… And that's what this is, isn't it?

_**Well, I don't know about---HEY! THAT'S TWICE! You're not weaselling information out of ME, Molly Prewett!**_

Alright then, I'll ask you straight out---What's going on between you two?

_**Nothing.**_

Oh ho! So something _is _going on!

_**WHATEVER GAVE YOU THAT IDEA???  
**_You're blushing. And you keep looking down at the Gryffindor table. I know those signs, Alice, and if I'm correct (and I always am,) you have a little something going on with a certain someone.

_**Well, he sort of…asked me...**_

HE ASKED YOU TO WHAT??

_**Potions. Potions homework. He asked me the Potions homework.**_

What did you say????

_**Um… Mols? I'm not in Potions anymore. I haven't been since Fifth.**_

What on EARTH were you thinking, Alice?!?

_**Um…that I'm not in Potions.**_

All's fair in love and war. Even lying.  
_**Who says I even FANCY him?! WHO SAYS WE'RE NOT MATES? **_

Alice, I'll lay this out for you in _simplest terms. _You are 1) smiling like a maniac, and 2) utterly confused… Don't you see? I DIDN'T mention that you fancied him! I think you might even be in _love _with him!!

_**IN LOVE WITH FRANK LONGBOTTOM?! Molly, we've hardly said five words to each other!**_

SO SAY A COUPLE OF WORDS TO EACHOTHER! He's a brilliant bloke Alice!

_**Molly…Please, I'm asking you not to blow this out of proportion. **_

I'm don't blow things out of proportion!

…

…

Do I?

_**You're prone to it. Look, if you're so smart… What do I DO?!  
**_You march up to him and say "Frank Longbottom, I will meet you tomorrow at nine-thirty in the Great Hall by the door, and I'm going with you to Hogsmeade!"

_**I'm just…not that sort of girl, Molly, I'm…shy.**_

If this is important to you you'll do what you have to. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have some eggs, before that swine in the purple jumper downs them all.

_**Thanks for the sentiment, Molly.**_

Any time.

**8:43, Exiting the Great Hall to Defence Against the Dark Arts Class**

Alice is in love with Frank. And now… I become scheming, conniving Molly. And I use my brilliant web of spies from all four corners of the globe to trap them in SUCH an uncomfortable situation that they'll just HAVE to snog!!

**8:44**

…One problem. How, exactly, do I go about it?? 

**9:35, Defense Room, Next to Eddy**

Andromeda Black?

_Yes, Mols?  
_A word?  
_Course. What are you up to, you sneak?_

Do I…_look _like I'm up to something?

_You have that sneaky twinkle in your eye, Molly. Of course you're up to something._

BLOODY SNEAKY TWINKLE! I thought I'd gotten rid of that!

_Er…no._

Well…

_Molly PREWETT! You're not going to poke into someone's love life are you? OH MERLIN, I can't wait until you have children. You're going to have their matches picked out before they're BORN._

It's always good to think ahead, you know!  
_OH MOLLY…_

In any case… We need to do some sneakily-plans-making-plans, for the clever execution of a trap! Oh ho, and not just any trap…a bona fide Molly-Made Love Trap!

_No…OH MOLLY, PLEASE DON'T. Do you remember back in fourth, when you snuck those notes from 'Leonard' into my book bag to make me feel like somebody liked me?_

IT WORKED.

_Yes. Until McGonagall found them and __**read them out loud.**_

She's a nosy, barmy woman. What more can I say?  
_A lot more. But…needless to say that Hufflepuff, Leonard, a fifth-year we didn't even __**know **__about got his fair share of trouble over that._

I still think he deserved to clean out the loos. He looked like the note passing type.

_MOLLY, YOU WERE THE ONE PASSING THE NOTES!  
_Point well taken. But with distaste. Now…are you in?  
_Molly you're crazy._

That's a 'yes?'

_Oh…---Sigh--- I guess so. … … … You're smiling evilly. I know I'm going to regret this._

YES!!! Heh, I laugh, I laugh!

_Scratch that… I __**already **__regret this._

**12:04, The Great Hall**

Sorry about the egg on the margin, journal --- that swine in the purple jumper is back and shovelling eggs into his mouth as if all the chickens on earth are suddenly going to drop dead. Now… Double Potions with the Gryffindors. Time for some _major _scheming.

Sweet Merlin, we have an on-call professor today, someone named Professor Abraham. Everyone who had Potions this morning came out humming, and laughing at us sixth-years…we have him just now… I wonder what he's like? And what did he do to make everyone laugh?

ALL RIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT SWINE IN THE PURPLE JUMPER!!! I can think of a few things I have to say to him…spilling eggs all over my journal…

Forgive me, won't you? I'm off to yell at an unsuspecting victim! Ha. He won't even know what hit him!

**3:46, En Route to Trans, coming from Potions**

My. Sweet. Merlin. I have just had the most brilliant Potions class of my life.

I hate Potions. You, as my journal, know about this naturally… And yet. THE BEST. Allow me to back up to do justice to the tale…. But just one moment - once I'm in Trans I can tell it straight! My writing is all wiggly as I'm trying to run and walk at the same time!!

**3:52, In Transfiguration, between Xeno and Eddy**

Now that I'm comfortably seated, I can go on with the tale!

I walked into Potions

_Late - __**  
**_GO AWAY ALICE! I'M TRYING TO WRITE A STORY HERE!

_Some friend YOU are!_

Yes, well… I shall flick some peas at you if you don't BUGGER OFF!

_Fine. I'll write the Trans notes, because I know everyone will need it later. Teddy and Xeno samm to've charmed their socks into wrestling each other… Can't wait until McGonagall sees!_

HA! In any case… I walked into Potions and sat down between Eddy and Teddy (RHYME!!!), and pulled out my work as per the usual. I failed to notice, however, that somebody was looking down at me. Flicking my eyes up just barely, I muttered, "All _right_, Professor Slughorn, I know… I know… I'm getting my essay…" or some other such drivel.

"PROFESSOR ABRAHAM!"

I jumped _ten feet _into the air! Frantically, I looked around, eyes wide, heart beating about twelve a second until I realized the elderly, moustachioed man standing not three feet away wasn't my usual professor.

"PROFESSOR ABRAHAM!" he bellowed. "NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH PROFESSOR SLUGHORN, MISS PREWETT! I AM A RETIRED PROFESSOR OF POTIONS! MY OTHER HOBBIES INCLUDE MUGGLE- AND BIRD-WATCHING, AND CURLING, **IF YOU PLEASE**!"

He had an odd manner of speaking which made each word sound as if it was written in capital letters - that's why I'm using them.

"YES SIR!" I squeaked. Literally, squeaked. The Slytherins at the back started to snicker, so I sot them a bitter look before turning my attention back to the old man at the front.

And then… he started to sing.

I AM NOT LYING. Professor Abraham, a tall, thin man with a vast moustache of iron gray, started to sing to us. It was one of those children's songs, I think. We all sat back in shock, listening to his capital-letter voice belt out some awkward introduction.

"YOU GOTTA ROCK YOUR SOULS

IN THE BOSOM OF ABRAHAM  
YOU GOTTA ROCK YOUR SOULS  
IN THE BOSOM OF ABRAHAM  
YOU GOTTA ROCK YOUR SOULS  
IN THE BOSOM OF ABRAHAM  
ALL THE LONG DAY LONG!"

The silence was utter. A Slytherin with an exceptionally large nose sniggered, "He said bosom!" Professor Abraham didn't appear to notice, for he ploughed on to the second verse…

"YOU GOTTA SET YOUR STORE  
BY THE BOSOM (snigger) OF ABRAHAM  
YOU GOTTA SET YOUR STORE  
BY THE BOSOM (snigger) OF ABRAHAM  
YOU GOTTA SET YOUR STORE  
BY THE BOSOM (uncontrollable snigger) OF ABRAHAM  
ALL THE LONG DAY LONG!"

We all merely sat in dazed shock. Was he _serious? _He answered for us by asking, "NOW! WHEN I GET TO THE END OF EACH SECOND LINE I'M GOING TO POINT AT YOU AND YOU MUST SAY ABRAHAM! IT'S TO REMEMBER MY NAME, SEE?"

There was some mute nodding before he began again.

"YOU GOTTA ROCK YOUR SOULS  
IN THE BOSOM (snigger) OF -" Point. Nobody said anything… well, nobody but Arthur Weasley, who cried "ABRAHAM!" Everyone positively _howled _with laughter! It was one of _the _funnier things I've EVER seen!

Class continued in that vein until bell… I wish we could have him every class. NO POTIONS HOMEWORK!!! It's A MIRACLE! And now, you must excuse me, dear journal… I've just spent all of Trans telling you that! I have a note to copy from Eddy… Assuming she'll let me, naturally!

**A/N: To Mary Gooby: Geez, I love you…you always review!! Such a sweetie! Corca EH BlewStar101 DwindlingcandleDementedLeaf! Lurve you. Next chappie: FIRST HOGSMEADE WEEKEND!!**


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